a letter i hope you won't read. that says all the things that i wanna say but you dont have to know.

my routine is disrupted but yet i feel nothing but a sense of understanding and calmness. i still cry when i have to relate this whole thing, but i am positive about whats ahead. everything's planned and i will just go on with my plans. sometimes i hate it when people come telling me that you are strong, come on be strong, i know you will make it, and they expect me to make it.
the thing is, i know i will make it, but i just wished people didnt know i was this strong so it wouldnt be that easy for them to get away with hurting me.

i understand you cus i understand myself, and if i were you i would have done the same. all or none. i agree to it i agree with you. im counting on nothing cus i have nothing xcept fate. if this is one obstacle before forever, tell whoever is above that i am on. and if it is not, i will hold my head high as always, and continue to look for the one who fits and rolls and will stick forever.

i am what i see in you. we are so alike we could have been twins born 2 years apart lol, agressive, decisive. strong, verbal, idealistic, honest, brave, responsible and the list will just go on. We share the same vision and we feel the same way with issues we talk about.

i should not be saying this, buti know that i may not say this or feel this if time passes for too long, so im gonna say it for the last time now and that is, actually i miss you, your million dollar smile, your hilarious ears, even the too-short hair that i have not even seen yet since your last haircut. i miss your presence in my routine, my life. i miss you cus you have creeped into my life unknowingly and you planted yourself in my heart. now the place is empty and i cant help but miss you sometimes. the feeling hits me, and leaves me and comes back again. but everytime it comes, i say to myself, bring it on, im smiling yo. and i smile, truthfully to myself knowing that i hurt cus i once have given away some parts of me. And its really bout the journey and not the destination, i may not have gotten there but i was once on the way to it. Giving is worth being happy about. And i'm proud of myself, cus i have once again learnt. from myself. i didnt need no one.

you may not miss me, you may not even feel like my missing presence, or you may even be enjoying the peace you are granted. and thats why, i cant show and i cant tell you that i miss you. i dun wanna want you more than you want me. i dun want you to take me for granted. i dun want you to feel guilty or whatsoever. cus you dun have to be. it was not your fault that you dun see me in that light. i know how it feels, trust me. i sure do. so just take your time and find the answer you need. i will be moving on, occassionally stopping to miss the good times we had just like i would miss a real good friend. when you are ready, sprint, and if fate allows, you will find us. i just want to say that i am thankful for the short short moments that we spent being really happy together (hahaha not really TOGETHER LA but virtually together laaa ok), and i think it should be enuff for me.

i told myself and now i already believed that you are doing this for me. thats the only thing i wanna believe in now that all this is happening for a better cause, with the best intentions (well maybe not with the best method) and that is, cus you are protecting me.
i cried only cus i am hurting, just like how it would hurt to say bye to a friend moving away to elsewhere farfaraway.





i can move on and i will. i will be good, and so must you. i wun be waiting but i will be looking forward to what the one above has planned for me.