umm

i know i haven told this to any of my peeps now. but this is really pretty recent. fact is, SIA called. like finally. But i decided to reject the offer. i know........ how much i prayed for it to take place and how much hope i had. But after serious thoughts (i have 2 months to think about it, THANKS TO THEM)and a talk with my fam, this is my decision.

all in all, i just aint confident that im up to it. Not that i do not think i am not up to what the airline wants, i obviously am after the many rounds of interview. I just do not think i can retain my real self in the industry. i dun wanna lose myself and end up giving up in pursuing my studies.

i have been reading jacq's blog and hellyeah, one part of me screams yes yes yes. the materialistic side of me. but another side of me warns me again. so yup.

the plan's now is to go to SIM, do fucking well, maybe top the WHOLE cohort, graduate with first class honors and a bachelor degree which will bring me places for at least 2 years before my masters' deg which i HOPEEEEEEEEEEE someone (ahem, dad) would sponsor me to go take up in melb (like after 3 years), of course with some of my own money.

and maybe if i still feel like it, SIA for the 2 years before my masters. Maybe by then they would have blacklisted me or raised their standards too high for me or my pathetic 1.59cm frame. but even then, i shall quote jules that , whether or not SIA takes me will not determine my value.
and i shall continue to be proud that i ONCE made it through the rounds of inhumane mentally torturing interviews. i hope you guys would be too, proud of me for what i have decided, what im doing, gonna do and just who i am.

cus im happy the way i am now. and now, its just one step at a time. on y va, people!

=)