He says tomorrow never dies, but what if there's no tomorrow to come?

jes's text msg came last night close to 1am, it was good news she wanted to share for me. Something that i was proud of and happy for her. She too got into SMU which she later chose over NUS Business. But whilst i was being happy for her (and of cus jules) that she got what she wanted and that she managed to get pass this crossroad, it was suddenly a massive pang of realization that hit me-hard.

what the fuck am i doing ? and what am i going to do. It's too obvious that i am standing at this crossroad, lost, with no clear directions with no choices. That's upsetting. at that instance i felt this tug at my heart followed by its fall till it hits my stomach. i felt so useless.

it's always hard to face up to your failure and incapibilities. And i have been taking out on myself, causing the sleepless nights. Yes i am leading a good life now, yes but all provided by my father. i duno what plans to make and what to do now, all's brutal and honest.