one late sleepless night, once again.

and i wanna just fucking scream

yet again i can't sleep. and on top of that, I'm actually feeling fuck emo now, something i can't explain. It's frustration and the urge to burst out crying, all mixed together, making it suck 200 times more.

Last night, i made something very special, it's a farewell gift. I hope that someone will like it. It's not often i make arty farty stuffs like this. There was a minute i spent, marvelling at how smart i was, coming up with this whole idea.

you see, i am so fuking emo and restless, i am talking nonsense. and trust me i am not typing, im punching the keyboard like a mad dog. (dogs do not use or have anything to do with keyboards, yeah whatever)

neways, IS THE FONT REALLY TOO SMALL? didnt change the size actually haha.

'hey smelly you gotta check the fontsize for your explorer or safari i duno man, me know nuts about mac computers'

if its really hard to read i wil change it.

i feel damn tired like somehow. cant say its physically or mentally either cus i am not using much of my body and my brain now (considering the fact that iam typing what im thinking now) i just feel this exhaustion. exhaustion from wanting things and not achieving things, of pleasing, of being someone else, being all tied up, always nervous and always trying to be perfect and nice.

ah. so freak ass annoying how true this relation looks to me. How close and true. i need more things to make me happy. like maybe have him here, and emo to fuck off.

and in case you guys are wondering, i am confident to tell you that it's NOT menopause.