i am planning to stay awake until 3am so that i can call my beloved dad to wish him happy birthday! he is turning 46 this year.
Happy birthday, my dear dad, laoban, lo dao, and my happy ATM who made me very happy with his platinum sub card during my stay here which he kindly applied for me. (dun worry dad, i will shou xia liu qing hahahahaha look at the amt of cold sweat u are breaking into lols)

though it is not normal to mix a birthday wishing entry with one filled with rants, i shall still do it. i have been thinking quite alot these days about how i have changed over the years. i am sure lovelies who have been with me all along in this journey would be able to relate well with the thoughts that i am going to share.

first of all, i was not born a nice girl. i have a fiery temper and i get whatEVER i want, and i dun care how it will be done. ( i am not dominating, i am just lucky. cus people chose to love me by giving in to me and of cus most of my prayers are answered so that really explains why)

secondly, i get my way most of the time in my life in most of the things controllable by humans. (of cus sometimes i wish i could control the weather so that it could stop raining and risk ruining image, and making me look like shit during the aftermath)

thirdly, i am totally changed now because I DECIDED TO. and I CHOOSE TO. outta love and respect for the people around me, i made the decision and have since then also made respectable (ahem) efforts to keep it going. and tadang, you have the nice, smiley and sometimes drama mama hilarious ester.

BUT. you know, i am still quite nasty inside (ask those from cvss). the lil voice in me sometimes says a 'f' too. but a bigger, better trained side of the brain says.... 'ooooh ITS OKAY ESTER....just let it go and it will be ok, so smileeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'
most of the time, the nastier side gets overwhelmed and totally defeated.
but again, that is only MOST of the time and it actually means that some times i do get really annoyed too.

for example, when i meet v geikiang and selfish people. i dun want to say much cus you know i may trigger some sensentive people's emotions and get into unwanted shit. yes, i dun want any shit.

lastly, i miss singapore and i miss having time alone slacking in my pretty room.