♥go-chuppaquoi.blogspot.com♥

2010-04-07T13:30:00.003+08:00

This is it

I have merged so chuppaquoi and go chuppaquoi together so it makes managing easier for me. This space is officially deserted.

i'm keeping things here for memory's sake.

if you are still keen, i have moved to http://journalsoulivres.blogspot.com

2010-01-27T00:15:00.000+08:00

All i really wanna do

right now is to buy a cheap airticket get someone to take class attendance for me and go getaway for a week. anywhere will do, ok maybe not everywhere. not w the sun.

to me, cold and gloomy is romance.

and it seems this blog is still read by a couple of people. not that i am complaining. but i am definitely more motivated to blog.

2010-01-21T23:16:00.000+08:00

I know that it sucks

that i haven't blogged for the longest time and once i am back i am complaining like a rotten old hag. but sigh! I swear i have converted to writing a diary whenever it has anything to do with whining, complaints, anger and just wholesome unhappiness.

but i'm so tired from a whole day of school and then work, i just cannot be bothered to do the writing shit nemore. And i am taking a chance that no one will still be reading this stagnant for too long blog of mine anymore which means i can rant as much as i like.

you know, twitting or facebook status updates are no longer safe! lol.

i'm trying to be not evil here cus i really do not want to fight. there are of cus things worth fighting for and about, but THIS is so not one of them. Not saying that im unreasonable or my cause is stupid kay. just that all women are petty.

and all i am feeling is a tad of buaysong-ness that * planned his days without me in consideration and reported his perfectly laid out plans to me- on my blackberry. I really wanna scream but i tell myself to let it go. (AGAIN???) yes, let the fucking shit go cus its so miserable i should ignore it.

But is it a small thing?

what if i planned my days like that?

"i'm having a manicure on friday then im meeting XX and YY, then Sat im going to work halfday and then maybe go club with VVV"

dunno about u but i was thinking... "uhhh ok, thats cool, nothing's wrong with meeting up with your friends and having some me-time but WTF about me?"

at least pretend abit la.

like ask me if i have plans.

and im frustrated cus i make effort to make sure he doesnt have nth to do, but he is not one bit concerned about me not having anything to do when he is filling out his organizer.

oh bitterheart my bitterheart, tries to keep it all inside... ....

2010-01-21T11:26:00.000+08:00

Everyone

is like freaking getting married. and they are like younger than me or my age. seriously! where did they get the money from? me and marcs have done the calculations. With the wedding dinner alone, we will be made 40k poorer ): that is alot of money.

been around looking at houses with the boy and his family. if they do get a bigger house, we will be moving in together with them after the wedding.

ahem, i wonder if i will get a proper proposal. i like surprises. haha

and him being him answered my question this way....

me: "what's your ideal honeymoon location?"

marcs: "sentosa"

me: "!!!!!"

2009-07-27T14:08:00.000+08:00

to be honest.

i am fuming mad and freaking upset. i am feeling totally unappreciated, much contrary to the treatment i was given in the past

i dun like to compare but i cant help feeling the difference. seriously.

im not difficult to humor all it takes is some effort and a few nice things to say. but no. i dun get that.

after all that had happened. i am not more appreciated.

i have been depreciated with time and it is so pathetic.

im leaving. bye.

2009-07-15T14:13:00.000+08:00

Haven been able to help

but wonder if the place i had reserved for that one person was worth keeping after all. no explanations cus there was an assumed unconditional understanding between us. but things arent the same anymore. and i am starting to doubt you.

but does it matter anymore?

2009-07-13T16:19:00.000+08:00

Every time i carelessly got reminded of you, it hurts all over again. And i can only hurt silently.

2009-07-01T11:13:00.000+08:00

HELLO again!

its been a while since i touched the blog here. its sad but hey i am back! hahaa. i have time to spare cus my classmates are all late for school except me. so i am left with my macbook to be with until another 40mins.

im just gonna blabble abit you know just to get things started again. I have always been blabbering anyways.

this morn on my way in dozer, to school. i spotted a BMW 523i. so i sped up and checked out the driver. woah lady.

the next thing i checked out?

her rimms

and i lol-ed

cus in my heart i was singing: 'ooh lady, you are just like me cus your rimms are chipped here and there, oh just LIKE ME.'

i topped things up with a sinister laughter as i looked at my P-plate and her lack of it.

girls are meant to be driven , marn says. but it helps if we can drive.

2009-05-20T23:25:00.000+08:00

I shall be the last

to wish me myself and my dear ling, a happy 21st birthday! (: well how time flies and sigh, how cliche that sounds. We are officially 21 and ready to get old.

I wanna thank all the great people who came to the picnic party at the botanic gards, despite the storm. Cant explain exactly how heartwarming it was to hear my friends calling me on my cell to tell me that they are coming no matter what. rain or no rain, storm or no storm, and shelter or no shelter. Thank you my dear friends! For making that great an effort and making that day a very very happy and blessed day for me. It was so much fun playing Taboo the party ended much later than the planned 8.30pm at 10.30pm.

Oh and thank you for all the presents, all nicely picked out and screams my name all over. I love those cards especially. They were all so nice to read and im sure to keep! Except that one that norman, lynette and kel wrote, of which they painstakly wrote in mirror image and i had to read the card in front of the mirror. LOL. it was very interesting and i must hand it to you, guys (: thank you for that as else.

Did i mention just how may bottle of parfum i received? i gt a chanel, christian dior and bvulgari.

Thats really not alot considering the number of domokuns i got. FABULOUS! i can now open a domokun gallery! (: *puffs chest*

and i got really great great presents. J and Vic gave me a poloroid cam which they bought on eBay, loveloveloveloveeeeeeee <3,>

QQ, Kailin and Josie got me totally practical stuff: a funky looking jacket and domokun make up pouch.

Kel, lynnette and norman got me christian dior's lovely scent, J'adore. yes yes j'adoreeeeeee!

max and palley wanted me to learn the ropes to being a great woman, they got me a really pretty hardcover book on that.

Even zining and eileen, whom i knew briefly from school bought me a domokun pouch! (: I was so happy!

Shawn and Godfrey got me things to clean myself up with, from body shop and something that says chuppachups and is shaped like one but is not meant for eating but belongs to the bathtub! Very creative, guys !

The high school peeps, carine, angus, Matthew and shimei got me scent from chanel. (see guys, im gonna smell damn good everyday)

chim got me a necklace from citigem. he says its funky. lol. he basically got me a bday package, flowers, cakes, card included. Mum and Dad was like 'Wah whole set.' haha Thank you!

Yongsien totally made me shrieked when i tore open his pressie and emerged from the wrapping paper was the biggest brown monster i own so far! WOAHHHHHH. <3.>

dejian was totally crazy last week when he tricked me into the store selling watches and attempted to make me pick one. of cus i didnt, but he gave me a dinner treat and a ride home from town neways! xie xie la, fengzi. LOL.

Jul and Kex (im pretty sure kex did not do the shopping for my pressie) caught me off guard with their leopard print bra set and high waist jeans from Mango. Two words, Jul, SOOOOOO MEEEE. hahahahahaa. While Joey and Lynn got me a bitch kit, sounds like fun. Kiwi handmade me something in black and purple.

Everyone in la fam gave me fat angpows. (VERY HAPPY OF CUS), haha cus i had about ten of them.

ktv on 16th was warm and nice with la fam and high school peeps. only got to hit the sheets at 5am in the morn and only woke up at 1pm on Sunday. Even did a duet with dad. glad everyone turned up even though it was like my mini concert. hahahaaa. i didnt mean to hog the mike but no one was as.. ermmmmmm eager to sing as me!

2009-04-30T11:53:00.000+08:00

exams are finally over. the drama in my life is getting less dramatic. hurt a bit in the process, like tearing a plaster from your skin. the tear. bearable but you wish you had left it there and not try to remove it.

im learning.

i will always love and respect.

2009-03-26T16:02:00.000+08:00

I want nobody nobody

but you! i want nobody nobody but you! (: ooh im so addicted to this song.

2009-03-26T15:26:00.000+08:00

School had been

totally totally insane and packed to the brim with projects, quizzes and exams to prepare for. (as you may judge from the messiness of my hair huh) Of course, in between them i made time to meet up with people for short nice meals, usually at my convenience. Thank God for people like them.

my clique in school is hilarious so everyday is happy and worth looking forward to. Esp mealtimes. though all the prata and mac brekkie is making me fat. -again.

i do not even have the time to go out and shop, club and even stay home and blog nemores. GRRRR. haha. so this blog entry will be just so random.

im typing this on my mac in school while we are getting comms proj done.

i went to the many new places in Singapore these days. Like Marina Barrage for night picnic, GreenWood ave for bistro dinner (yes that day my car got scratched by the cat). met up with the usual people and hired two chauffeurs to send me to and fro school on days i do not drive and days i do not want to drive- Lao wang and Lao lin (:

Lao lin fetches me to school and lao wang fetches me from school, and they just wanna run each other over with their cars. mutually exclusive thats what is the official term.

so i haven taken or even seen the bus for a few weeks now even on days i don't drive.

I AM SO TOTALLY SPOILT ROTTEN ):

and i wish dejian will stop grumbling and rumbling.

i am just typing whatever comes to my mind so ignore if i make no sense.

i took psy and math quiz today and they were rather doable.

rather comforting to know, after scoring 46 for my math mid terms just 2 weeks back. YES MY TERM IS SO DAMN SHORT, they squeezed a mil to-dos into my term.

i need to breathe and to shop.

though marcs came to fetch me on Mon to town and bugis to do some retail therapy, i didnt felt like i bought enough.

im so lazy to upload the pictures but if i do, they are on facebook firsthand before here....

i am stressed.

ahahahahahahhaha and stressed by a million things like school, work, family and having too many options.

prolly dejian's idea is good. but that will only happen if HE come back. with he not equal to dejian.

i love math i love math i love math. and i need to believe it.

2009-02-22T23:04:00.000+08:00

Can you believe it

because i can't. It's crazy, i feel like school has just started and i am having my mid term exams already. Insane shiat. Of course i still managed to study and meet up with nice people (: Mon with smelly chim after my stinking project of which we had to do a movie analysis (actually it was stinking fun, we watched leap years). I drove us to town and he was screaming and laughing at my sense of direction. at the newton circle (tmd, i actually typed newton circus before this). He had to warn me not to go one round and myself back at the same spot but out to the left so that i will end up toward town. what nerves! lol. hahaha but guess what i thought it was rather possible if chim wasn't with me in bdoze. hahahahaa. more hilarious stuff happened like he was not hungry before we left my school, but was rumbling hungry, so hungry he was sooooo damn grumpy when we got to town finally. tsk. (must be all the arguing on which carpark to park at and laughing at me and my driving)

Tues with dejian to have dinner @ CP. pretty funny cus he stays in Tampines and even funnier cus he has a lousier sense of direction than me but he insisted to come fetch me to and fro CP then home. okok leave his ego alone yall. appreciate everything still, no doubt. you just need to read signs, thats all. LOL.

friday with wilfie to vivo for a movie marathon, an unplanned one. He texted me about the choice of movie days before the date and i decided on valkyrie. And guess what, cherri and kailin was telling how i should have picked slumdog millionaire, but wil had the tickets booked by then. grrrr. so i told him that that day, and we just decided to catch both movies, since he wouldnt be in SG the for coming week (going KL for adidas party, and so sulking cus he will miss the one is SG with Ed chen, DJ Steve Aoki yaddak but i get to go instead! ), and i will be having mid terms. Slumdog millionaire was damn good, i mean it was very real a movie. to sidetrack abit, me and wil found ourselves surrounded by our indian counterparts in the theatre. lol. now we know how they, the minority race feel when they have to live with so many chinese of us (: totally overwhelmed. Neways i give Valkyrie 3 outta 5 lolli-es, and slumdog millionaire 4 outta 5 lolli-es. Am not going to badmouth Valkyrie cept that i wasnt really paying attention to the not very interesting plot but Tom cruise and his eye instead. (yes he lost an eye and had this artificial replacement in the movie, i was looking at it) haha and despite slumdog being rather fabulous, i couldnt fight the sleepy bug and i think wil caught me closing my eyes for several minutes in there and asked me if we should go. but no, cus i really wanted to watch it and so we stayed.

saturday my house was bombarded by the mahjong players in l'extended famillie so i seek refuge at starbucks to mug in the afternoon and later evening for chim to come fetch me to go study together at the airport. I learnt so much about Mercedes that day lol. like the sensor thing and how you can lock the car just by pressing the button on the door handle cus it senses the car key in close proximity. uber coolness (: we studied at T3 with chim's friends, Mel and Rufford, but ended talking about many other things and making studying a second priority. i guess i was the most productive that night of us four. Chim had to laugh at me, and bdoze.

chim: 'wah the 7 series Rufford drives is damn shiok, damn big got alot of space, not like your car'

me: 'grrrrr compare what la you, i 1 series he 7 series humpf.'

bdoze is a girl's car. and i have no trouble getting my short legs in and out of it so im happy enough. BLEAHHHHHHHHHHH.

i have 134567890 pictures but am so lazy to upload. grr....... im supposed to be typing my english assignment but here i am, blogging away. I wonder if i can submit my blog instead.

oohooh and i have finished the third book, eclipse (: cherri's loaning me the fourth tomorrow while the one wil's got me gets on its way. Cheers to nice new friends!

2009-02-15T23:47:00.000+08:00

I think i have held

the suspense long enough and that the thing i was so happy and couldnt breathe a word about is.... vic's return from L.A! Ling and vic got all sneaky and planned for vic to surprise me that fateful Monday after school. And i thought it was just normal lunching with Ling that day, when she popped right in front of me outta no where, i found no other vocabulary apart from 3 words, which i repeatedly repeated for like i think 30 seconds till the image and idea sink in. in case you are wondering, the three words are oh, my and god. hahahaha.

it was great to have see vic, looking so beautiful and gosh i missed her so. She nearly made me cry. and that would be so bad, if my mascara smudged. lol. alot of catching up followed and i am just glad to see her again, in flesh. to be able to hug her (: of course, the next victim of this sneakypeaky business is J! whom i met the day just before we pounced on him. I dropped him some subtle hints but obviously i was so good at keeping it subtle he didnt sense anything. he sure got shocked the day after during lunch with the girls.
After he received his little surprise i came back and fetched them 3 to gelare in bdoze, after class, after MATH CLASS. sigh.

I haven had the time to blog or really do anything i did, when i had more free time now, just look at the mess under my table.

Mum and Dad gave me a red box for the 21st. move over, green boxes!

People are alerady asking me what i would like for my birthday, and i have answered the same. 'I do not need anything, i have everything i wanted.' Just buy me something that's ME! that screams ester ester ester ester ester allll over.

2009-02-15T23:22:00.000+08:00

V-day

is also single-awareness day or so says dejian. which i found pretty interesting. this is the first time i am hearing sucha a good word of console for the usually aloof single-ers. V day is a reminder that you do not have to act lovey dovey and mushy smelly to someone significant, when you are single and self proclaimed swinging singled. Like moi.

so i spent vday studying A Math. Believe or not. I had dinner with la famillie at our favourite restaurant and guess who we bumped into! Some Paya Lebar MP, Randall Tan and Melody Chen! Dad bought me, Mum and aunt each a stalk of rose, enough to make us happy already but on the way home, we saw this girl with a huge bouquet.

Mum:'WAHHHHHH DAD NI KANNNN' (wow look at that!)

Me: 'EEEE, show off, !'

Aunt: 'Hahahahahaha'

hope the fact that i wasnt out with some hot dude did make some of you happy (: I will do better next year though!

The day after V day, with wilfey to island creamery yet again as promised.

My V-Day gift, thankyouthankyouthank youuuuuu wilfey mong.

scribble your wibbles.

super adidas.

the alternative that me and cherri ate in school. reminded us of NYP and TEP.

everyone asked how i did it. i did it with 234567890 hair clips.

me and cherri looking cui-ed on a schoolday.

It's really crazy cus i feel like i have just started school but guess what next week is my mid term examination for... gasps, Maths! I haven't even got time to do some loving with my lovely tv set for like eons already. I am dying to meet people whom i have put on a list and is expanding by the days. Forgive me if i have been making you wait, i promise things will be chop chop soon.

guess one stupidest thing i did this week. left my carkeys in my car and for 4hours. as expected, dad gave me a good lecture about 'normal driving procedures' going at get in, put in key, drive, stop, take out keys, get out. I so need more sleep, it must be the lack of it, how else would anyone actually walk outta their car without the keys! i couldn't believe how ridiculous things got myself.

I need to do shopping, go clubbing and be wasting time. like i used to. soon.

2009-02-09T17:12:00.000+08:00

School's had been almost insane

my weekends are burnt, but i was glad to have met up with shawnie last friday before he left for aussieland. (this morn) i drove us to town, feeling somewhat nervous initially, but shawn gave good directions and me some calming effect by being a nice gps. hahaa.. dinner was simple and nice, then we swopped down to kex's place @ loyang to pick up julia and headed to icon.

i wonder if anyone of you knows where it is. It was an eye opening and culture shocking experience for me. if you ask me, i will say its a guy's place. loads of sexy thai girls, singing and dancing, some make their keeps by seducing men into buying drinks so they get commission.

umm. the day ended with me feeling reallllly tired but happy (:

i like spending time with la fam.

hahaha. well, thats nt really the main highlight of last week.

shall reveal what it is soon, with pictures. if you wonder what i was so happy about. its really someone i love.

2009-01-28T01:26:00.000+08:00

i should be in the showers but then mum came out and we talked. about dad and money and the rest of the extended family. honestly i don't like talking about money with the extended fam. cus as far as i am concerned i think its our very own business that we are better off than the rest of them. and sometimes i hate to feel that way but i feel that we are often taken advantage of.

my dad gave each of them in the xtended fam 1k before cny and he paid for all the reunion dinner yet again this year. shouldnt reunion dinner be shared by all the people in the fam? no? just because we are better off. then halo i rather eat reunion dinner at home around my lovely steamboat.

everything just seemed so taken for granted.

so natural that they should get a share of our money
that we should always pay for the meals, give them treats, loan them money.

so natural that when they come for mahjong session, we make and serve them coffee, buy them lunch, tea break snack, dinner and supper. and they didnt even once offer to tabao us food before popping by.

im not blaming all on the xtended, my dad's the one with the problem too. cus he is too damn lao ahbeng style and he likes to shoulder their burden like his own. doesnt know where to stop and which line not to cross.

and after the mahjong sessions, me and louis have to act like maids and clean up the house, only to have them come again the next day repeating the whole procedure of what i mentioned before.

yes you should be nice to your family. but not to this extent of always giving them money, lending them 5 fig sums when you duno if they can repay you at all. its really not about the money, but why cant they just pretend to put up a fake struggle and take out their wallets at meals sometimes?

like the reunion dinner.

i'm pissed cus dad's freaking generous with them but yet he didnt allow me to go to melb to study. and mum even suggested for me to go work part time during SIM. she says she's training me to be independent but thats fucking rubbish cus i have always been independent thats why i even went to the SIA shit in hope that i could go to melb to study even though i jolly well know that my dad could afford my education there.

then shouldnt they let the xtend fam deal with their own problems so that they can be independent? thats serious crap over there ok mum. and yes i told this to her.

seriously but what the hell if you expect me to be all smiling still?
i give them the respect i should, but i say what i want.

and there is this particular person in the fam i have a problem with cus she somehow has a way to control my dad's decision. like suggesting that my dad should distribute cash to the xtended. she's a loudmouth and everytime thinks that we are damn loaded when we are really, not. everyone thinks we are damn well off and stuff but helo my dad is not getting much younger and we still have sherman and even if we have the money its our business.

like everytime their cars got problem they call dad and get it done free yadaaakyadak.

aiya just sibeh not happy now la. urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2009-01-28T00:12:00.000+08:00

you cant be him cus you are not him, its just like i cant be her, cus i am not her. no one's a replacement, no matter how similar we are or how many similarities we share. what was done to me, i will not do to anyone. ok, im just grumbling, cus i feel bad now at this very moment having heard the things i heard.
i do not like complicated issues.

and j, you are so idiotic. I'm strangling you on sat when you pop by my place. for you know what.

2009-01-27T23:08:00.000+08:00

A lil about me in the new year

for the benefit of those who just came to know me and are collecting information about me. haha (you know who you are). But then again, take the content with a pinch of salt cus its my blog, my perspective and i cant say i can stay totally unbiased. I give my words in trying though.

1. first off, horoscopes. since alvin my cousin and i were discussing about this today when i drove him to pasir ris to be sent back to tekong (damn kelian) in bdoze. I believe in horoscopes but im not superstitious. it merely serves as a pof (point of ref) for me, i mean afterall to me, its more of a statistical study rather than some mythical forecast of anyone's future.

I'm taurus, so check out your own. and see how it goes from there.

2. i'm strong
check out my biceps. hahaha kidding la. i mean i am someone who's strong in the mind. i know what i want and i am a go getter. any one who's less than that, get outta the Q and go get yourself a lollipop. I'm really 'manly' so i need someone who's more than what i am, to wear the pants in the relationship. Who needs a man if i still gotta call the shots all the time? i might as well just get a pooch. If you are currently lost in life and are not doing much about it, just shake my hand and be my friend.

3. I am not what you think
pretty general. but its true that im more than what you think i am. People think i am strong but i may not be, or would be even stronger than they thought i was. it depends. People think they know me at some point of time, but they really do not. i change all the time, cus i QC myself and i try to be better everytime. If you cant catch up, i won't wait anyway.

4. I'm funny.
serious. i am funny.

5. I sing chinese songs better than english ones
hahahahahaha. i dig going to kbox.

6. When i am serious i am damn serious
like when it comes to doing homework, projects, when im mad at something etc. you can tell from my face cus its usually written all over my face like 'damn buaysong liao'. hahahaha so dun try to act cheeky monkey when im serious. I may end up shredding you into pieces (:

7. I do household chores and i handwash my car, and i can cook
but only for those i feel like cooking for. So if i offer, you are lucky.

8. Ima neat freak.
e.g. i would know if you tilt my alarm clock by a mere 1 degree. if i see that your house's in a mess, i would clean it up for you but that doest mean im in love with you ok. I just cannot take it. aye, dun make use of me though. Me no maid.

9. the first few things i look out in a guy
-height
-the nose
-the watch and shoes
-the way he speaks, if he clicks
-fingers

10. i do not like to talk on the phone
i prefer non invasive mode of communications such as msn or sms.

11. I need alot of time alone
to read, to paint my nails, to sing in my showers, to zone out, to roll around on my bed, take peanut on a walk and talk to him, to just stay home and be with la fam.

12. Im not a sticky girlfriend, but i have to know where are you.

13. I like what i cant get.
this is stupid but i just cant help it. thats no reason for you to play hard to get ok.

14. when i walk away, i really walk away. your loss

15. i like red roses and white lilies
but i think flowers attract bugs and they are a waste of your money, i can do without them but once in a while i will still shriek and be happy for some days straight in a row.

16. i give you whatever i expect of you.

17.im that kinda girl who loves to ask about your past fews but hates to hear about it.
yeah la struggle la. but you still gotta tell me. if they are better, you skip that part.

18. You will be surprised but i can speak super fluent hokkien

19. I can act auntie and click well with your mum (:

20. i like going dutch.

21. I do not like getting gifts for no reasons (yes dejian, dunit to feel so fan nao, cus im glad i didnt end up with 2 copies of the same books)

22. i'm exciting.
this u will find out when i make the effort. hahahahaha.

23. i'm always with la fam and i love them like whatever, so love them too.

24. I'm really stubborn but im logical. if you make sense, i let u have your way. Dun try, 'just listen to me' on me.

25. I'm someone who enjoys life. but doesnt like the sun. lets meet halfways, you sun tan and i get my spa.

ok thats pretty much about me.
hope it helped, you know who you are (:

2009-01-27T21:28:00.000+08:00

Thank you

M, for the books, despite me screaming and rolling on the floor for you to NOT buy me things. This will be the last time and you heard me good else i will kick you down 3456789 flight of stairs. wahahahaha. Yes, i am that vicious.

no more gifts and thank you again (:

lets hope you don't regret things when i fall too in love with edward later. lol

2009-01-26T23:13:00.000+08:00

Slip on some butter

on cny eve, have some last minute fun.
finally no more sick and no more ugly complexion. YAY. hello back good skin!

2009-01-26T22:59:00.000+08:00

Gong xi gong xi

yay angpow collection day
mum says 'harmony in la fam breeds prosperity'

off to bai nian!

Have a great year ahead, y'all! (:

2009-01-14T12:40:00.000+08:00

Oh shucks

only the 3rd day of school officially, and here i am already down. Couldnt go to school today cus i could hardly peel myself off the bed when the damn alarm clock went off at 6am this morn. Actually it had been set to go at 6 practically every morn since Monday. Travelled to school by bus on Monday cus Dozer had to be sent to be installed with the anti-crime (or so it claims) alarm system, drove on Tues and MC-ed stucked at home Today. The geographical distance is no joke, i nearly believed i heard my spine screaming during the 1.5hr bus ride from Hougang to Clementi. Driving's more fun but a lil bit more tricky cus the express way is always jammed up with moody, rowdy drivers who bully p plate holders like me. Well of course, i am smart enough to notice that being a female does help me get my way in cutting lanes and stuff, topped with a smile (which means puh-leasssseeee???) and a raise of the friendly hand in place of a thank-you-uncle-mwah-mwah. Doesnt work with fellow female drivers as well, as common sense would suggest.

I slept till 9am and woke up to check the UB website at once, for the lecture notes and emailed the academic advisor about my MC submission. Never once in my life, before this of cus, have i been so involved and concerned about my academic life, i swear. My level of initiative even shocked myself alil. Let me try to convince you bout this. I lugged a 3kg Algebra and Trigonometry Textbook (which freaking cost me 64bucks) home and spent like 3 hours on it, going through and solved all the questions the prof went through in lect today, penned notes when it was only my first lesson. (i totally suck in math, so abit more kiasu)

ok, so how's that.

i wouldnt be surprised to find myself dreaming about mathematic symbols every night this week. as of now, im coughing my lungs off, and i have no voice. which is damn funny cus when i was in the car to school with Ling on Tues, i insisted on singing along to my stereo. Which made us both laugh. ahuh, im a music person and whos to argue with that now? lol

weekend wise,

saturday i spent with j, whos in OCS now, and all beefed up which i found so gross. And in exact words, i told j that his boobies are constantly screaming for attention from his shirt. He prefers to call them titties but i told him they are hardly titties anymore, they are MORE now, if you know what i mean. tsk. Dinner @ Clarke Quay was damn good and sinful so we walked from there after dinner (after grabbing some yummy macarons takeaways), we walked all the way to Esplanade on the detour. tsk. ok la fair enough, after eating so much i should not be at all complaining about the walk. We dally abit at starbucks, laughing at people and just talking about this and thats, before sitting down to watch the live band performance just outside Esplanade. The perf was so damn good, we said 'ok after this song then we go' like several times before we truly left that place. After was home to get Dozer to go for a spin at which, J was so comfortable he fell asleep, or almost. so i sent him home and it was then goodnight.

sunday i met wilfred M. and caught the movie ip man. Which was freaking good in a sense that, it was filled with action, was smooth and easy to understand. Heard theres a second part coming up. I felt abit funny cus M has watched it already but he watched it again with me haha. He says he doesnt mind watching it twice cus it was good though. later, ikea @ Alexandra, to get his furnitures and do dinner (hur meatballssssss) and then home when i totally dragged myself around the house, into the showers, got everything for school prepared and then into bed. like a living dead. lol

School on Monday was infuriating. I spent like 4 hours to travel back and forth and only spent 30 mins in class (: had to try so hard not to step forward while signing my attendance, and punch anyone before me.

2009-01-07T20:11:00.000+08:00

5 toes into UB

did orientation on the 6th, yest with UB @ SIM, where i would be for the next three pull your ears. I woke up at 6am (horrors of all), heat up the engine at 6.50 and scooped Ling up @ CP 7sharp to go school together.

IT WAS LIKE OMG. the traffic, the DISTANCE (clementi!!!!), and just why-so-early-i-wanna-die-but-still-got-to-drive-and-stay-alive. The last orientation kinda shit i had was during Poly Yr 1. I was pretty much rather enthu about it, godknowswhy, maybe cus hello i was seventeen, so whatduyaexpect.

but now!
ok, just throw me the vital info and let me skip the 'lets-get-wild/wet/dirty' thingy. My skin totally do not agree with the word dirrrty. and pooch of course, but err thats two different matter wya looking at now hur.

so yeah the seniors (some my age if they popped from JC into UB), were hot. Needless to say, its the girls im referring to. Boys are so unnecessary to be oogled at. i think.
the talk was...... ok. But two days straight, with me waking up before Mr. Sunshine was no joke. I was trying so damn hard to keep my eyes open. Its a good thing Ling was with me, like in school, though in her own very i heard borrrreng corporate finance lecture.

I'm hoping to start everything nice next week. School's official.

it did bring me back to NYP days, those feelings, when i sat in the lecture theatre. Urgh. i cant decide i like it or not. anyhow im just gonna do it, i have to do it and i will. (: its prolly like what Wilfred says, the getting used to it again thing.

i'm gonna try taking public transport to school someday instead of risking not getting a parking lot in the school all the time. and petrol's not cheap esp when im the one pumping B.doze now. Not funny you know.

2009-01-07T19:49:00.000+08:00

In one of those past fewww jours

Chomp-chomped with Wilfred M. though you cant really count as that, cus we went to Coffee Bean and I had Chicago Cheese cake with swedish berry tea. not so chomp chomp style. He's not sitting opp me in this picture cus. i left my cell on my car (which was parked suppperrrrrrrr faraway from Cofbean), and he went to go get it for me. And while waiting, i started digging into my cake and just senselessly snapping pictures.
we did din din at Sakae Sushi later. HAHAHA, we so not chomp chomps cus we didnt wanna smell like cha kuayteow/harng hur/hokkien prawn mee all mixed up and confused. Dinner was small eater vs small eater. I was full and he didnt wanna eat so much that his training goes down the drain. HANA, Mr triathalon. tsk. ate so lil i looked like i ate as much as a man, and literally.

whats hols without icecream to follow up your din din. The walking GPS directed me al the way to gasp, adam road to

Island creamery.
walau it was damn far pls. second furthest i ever travelled in my own car. It was just next to the French embassy (groans.. yes. those torturing days)
some what hitam. lol. his choice.

and mine! apple pie. YUM.

we mingled around, tasting our ice creams and yakking away. Not to mention me checking out the 'ice cream girls'. ooh. and he started arguing about which is the cai-est. Another good example of pole apart pov about beauty between males and females.

he's a leg man, and ima face lad. couldnt agree.

jul's starting Internship at Nike (gasp), hahaha and i have been hanging out with Mr adidas. so what, the swoosh or 3 stripes. aiya, just settle for monogram la.

2009-01-03T18:15:00.000+08:00

Wilfred

will no longer be referred to as boon2. Not that he doesnt like it (whether he does or not i do not know), but i just realised the fact that, he couldnt be Boon2 cus i am Boon2 (: how about Boon3? hahahahhahahahaa. he must be rather shocked to see his name up as the post title outta nowhere. ah, its really nothing.

i started today early, up at 7am, sent louis to the school, bought breakfast for la fam, then hand washed my cars. and nearly broke myself into half. no joke. im pretty much feeling the ouch here ouch there now, so im not gg anywhere but stay home and eat homecooked from mum's kitchen. I totally love homecooked.

2009-01-02T01:30:00.000+08:00

Kiwi™ [i]agnès b[/i]. Nintendo been givin' me the blister says:
hey dear

Ester says:
hello hun

Kiwi™ [i]agnès b[/i]. Nintendo been givin' me the blister says:
carine and i were just talking

Ester says:
ahuh

Kiwi™ [i]agnès b[/i]. Nintendo been givin' me the blister says:
she was saying how her meet ups with u always fail

Kiwi™ [i]agnès b[/i]. Nintendo been givin' me the blister says:
haha. i told her meeting up with u must like make booking one

Ester says:
tskk

Kiwi™ [i]agnès b[/i]. Nintendo been givin' me the blister says:
in advance LOL

Ester says:
kuazhang

2009-01-02T00:21:00.000+08:00

Have you ever

felt that the world is full of irony and is filled with funny things. The very first one, i must say, is time. When you need it to fly, it literally crawls, and when you thought a lifetime had passed, only to realise it was only mere months that had, when you think back.

i do.
It felt like a lifetime ago to me. Everything's so different for me, no matter which time frame you try to pull me back to. The way i am, the way my life is, the way i look at things and the people around me, has all had facelift. It's perhaps the way that i was made to be, always reviewing myself, my thoughts, beliefs and also the people whom i think should stay important.
I should be saying this confidently that, it only gets better. everytime.

I don't like having regrets, and i live the way that i feel, would leave me with none. At least if i do, i would do a beautiful U-turn, heads high, muttering 'opps shit happens, hope not twice though!'

Yes, i pretty much am proud of who i am. the more i learn about myself, the more i think i deserve what i have now.

speaking of learning about myself. I had always thought of myself as a visual person, but one day last week, i realised i had been wrong. I am truly actually a SCENT person! (ahem guys, time to invest in parfums) i was so loving someone's scent that day, i was secretly smelling him the whole time. hahahahahaa. as i said i was SECRETLY smelling him, i shall not say who. It shouldnt take me that long to fig that out cus my room smells. in a good way. too. Thats why i am always happy in my room. and happy with someone who smells good. Guys hardly smell good, but when they do, i give brownie points. hahahahahaha.

I asked myself this. Would i prefer..
a) a nice looking one who didnt smell exactly nice in a appealing way to me (not every scent works)
b) an average one who totally smell the way i want to smell him as

easily, b. so verdict's scent over vision (;

2009-01-01T17:11:00.000+08:00

B.Dozing

with jul to changi Village on Tues

look how excited my passenger is.

and she snaps and snaps and flashes

lol, that girl..

after dinner, we rode to AMK Mac's. with her friend, my new friend DeJian. Who apparently got lost even with the GPS. heyhey Djian, no ego ok.

The lovely xmas cards i received from my favourite girls, ZHULITENG AND VIC. mwahs, i totally love them sitting at my desk. Looks so lovely.

2009-01-01T16:07:00.000+08:00

Threw 2008 behind

@ Boon's new hide.
Shane brought his xbox and whatever gaming gadgets possible to fit into the car from his place.

Brother kex's home finally from Norway and we give him welcome him with ...umm this.

denise, Jul, and the impossibly cute and soft spoken Vicky, Shawn's lil sis.

shawnie

trust me, my hair aint that flat. hahaha. Shawnie looked very mexican last night.

and my big bro.

too skiiiinnny. eat more OK!

hurs. do they need any captions? read it on their faces.

denise, teresa, jul and jon's muse (im terribly sorry but i cant spell her name) She's really nice nonethless (:

one easy way to kill yourself in boon's place is to just miss one step and you go!

the gamers

the drunkards, always at the bar

Mr salsa Mexico

everyone was making everyone drink. Thank goodness i drove and that very fact saved me from being made to drink. DRINK NO DRIVE.

kex shawnie joel joey

kenneth joey

jac and friends.

kyle and ahlao.

joey lynn von (whos super pretty)

dric

i didnt recall you taking pictures of me, shawnie

hey beefy!

lol

opps. sorry jon, you got punk'd

left round 1.40am and got home ten minutes later. (: It's nearer than i thought, up the TPE and i got home soon after. The guys were nice and all, and Boon's hide was impossibly big and imaginably HARD TO CLEAN. tsk. But hey, i hope you like what i got you ok, and thanks for the invitation. Keep flashing that smile and those pointy ears!

washed up after getting home and i immediately fell onto the bed, when boon2 called.

I was super touched haha when he told me he called up all the kinos and borders for me cus i had mentioned to him that day we went out to watch Twilight at Vivo that i so want the third and fourth installment of Twilight. He was told that the books are sold out islandwide though ): hahaha i had to muffle my laugh when he told me that, he was even rejected by the bookstore's staff when he asked to reserve the books.

Thanks boon 2. I do appreciate these lil thoughtful things. Like you getting ice water for me, when you get yourself starbucks. hahaha. and also the BIG things like offering to bring me along to Milan for Fashion week on your biz trip. and my, you look wayyyy younger than you really are. You should be an uncle now you know.

2009-01-01T15:04:00.000+08:00

Pull your ears, Y'all

cus it's New Year Day! Happy 2009 every one of you my cupcakes. Much love especially to those who have given me great memories in the many years back, including the 2008 we just threw behind us. I appreciate all of your existance in my life.

like i told jul. I can never ask for anything more in my life now. I have everything a twenty year old girl can ask for. Am happy, contented and thankful.

Thank you all, for making 2008 a very blessed year pour moi. Quote me, (again):

"Only gets better!"

xoxo,
ester

2008-12-27T18:55:00.002+08:00

I have moved

to www.so-chuppaquoi.blogspot.com but go-chuppa will still stay with all the old entries. Had to move cus i can no longer post pictures. (exceeded the upload quota). See you there, for the new entries, now onwards.

xoxo,
ester

2008-12-27T18:10:00.000+08:00

Le deuxieme chuppa

exceeded blogger's picture upload quota in http://www.go-chuppaquoi.blogspot.com/ so i moved! visit here or simply link yourself from the old site.

(: see you here.

2008-12-26T16:30:00.003+08:00

Say hello to B.Doze

what i totally loved about the ride. plays the ipod

We ride we ride we ride~ till later.

dad has to install the gps and the ipod stand for me (: Then the p plate will crawl in.

2008-12-22T22:42:00.005+08:00

I wasn't lying

when i say i think all the time. I was thinking about J's wine and milk philosophy..

just in case you forgot. the convo went like that.

J: 'Men are like wine, the older the better. Women are like Milk, goes bad with time.'

Me: 'But milk can become cheese ok.'

J: 'OKAY, but that is IF you can become cheese.'

Me back then, speechless.

BUT TODAY. YES TODAY, i was thinking and rethinking this while driving today and guess what you idiot! Not all wine gets better as they age. hahahahaha. WAH HENG I READ UP ABIT.

so listen up j, only SOME wine are meant to be aged.

alright girls, i think we just scored.

(: hehe.

2008-12-22T14:33:00.006+08:00

What does your age got to do with your friends and the world

Have you ever wondered along the way while we do (inevitably, SIGH!) get older each year, that while we were young and sprouting, we wanted to speed things up and do the 'adult' shit. Of course, it wouldnt take someone of IQ 200 to figure that we usually wish we didnt wished so, when we get to that 'adult' point.

its like..

we never wanna do things our age. I remembered when i was in High School, and one of my girl friend starting being a full time lian, who parties with her 'outside friends' (which refers to people not from the same school but outside god knows from where) at clarke Quay, mhd sultan, chinablack blablayadaydakalala at the blossoming age of .... 14. needless to say, she couldnt no more concentrate in classes and soon quit school, got into trouble, got arrested and realized what we would only see in drama series.

okay okay, deep and down, back then i thought she was like okay quite cool, but when she called school quits, i was like woahwoahwoah, unbelievably...unwise. lol. i duno about you guys but i used to wish i had two lives to live. One, i could be the baddest of me, have tattoos, smoke, get into trouble, screw up my life and die from partying and weeds, do whatever i like and get away with it. the other, i would be the politically right person, educated, earns decent moolahs, carry typical monogram bags and marry the guy next door... yes yawn tmd boring, oh and im not done, i will die a good grandmother, mother, daughter, daughter-in-law, wife, friend and whatever goodygoody role i play and someone who's just like any other woman my age.

im taurus. but sometimes i think im gemini. i look very much into balance and i constantly try to capture it. Being what is politically correct, do what is morally acceptable, buy the same office lady must have monogram bags, don't smoke, have no tattoos, do well in school but also trying to step out of my bloody nutshell, learn to be more sociable, have fun, do some stupid shit, and yeah.... trying to balance things up.

i was one of those who badly wanted to quickly grow up, PCD's when i grow up must be inspired by me. hahaha. i was sucha overaged person trapped in a underaged bod (OKAY LA OKAY LA, my face chaolao all along) and now my face is still chaolao, and im you know grown up and i wish things slow down. its too tmd scary. i haven had enuff fun and time to do whatever i wanna do and i still have morally obligated responsibilities to fulfill. wbd.

and J has to tell me things like MEN ARE LIKE WINE, WOMEN ARE LIKE MILK.

anzhuarr?! milk can make cheese whatttttt.

J: 'That is IF you can become cheese'

i have been meeting quite some older people who totally do not behave like their age. I mean yes yes, they are quite cool and chill (cus they had lived longer and seen more?) but its like.. not what i expected.

i expected people their age to be oh so roll my eyes typical.

like guys over 26years old, must work in the finance sector, must be some manager, must drive a japanese make car, must have a OL girlfriend, must have neat hairdo, no goaties (i dig goaties btw but dun attempt any old how , consult pro first LOL), speak of current affairs, stock prices, office politics, wear their hugo boss suits to zouk on friday nights and stand there not moving, drinking, watching soccer all the time on cable and starts planning to get married and be a dad. (er actually the last part's quite cool hahaha, not every one has the balls to wanna get married nowadays with all the none obligation relationships and aids gg round)

but those guys i met, freaking dresses like my brother whos in his teens (better than louis but you get my drift), parties like a rockstar and live like they have all the time in the world. Fair enuff, you guys are wine. we are milk.

but..........thats not EXACTLY fair aites.

older men gets young girls

and older women gets laughed at. @#$%^&*() not that i have gotten to that stage when i can call myself an older woman, but i will one day. later go stock up all the facial mask and use corection pen to cover up all my birthdates on my docums, set all the class photos to flames and keep pretending to be 20 every year.

Jason had to keep asking me every time i go clubbing if i met any guys, and he had to keep making me tell him the same answer which is infuriating cus they said i didnt try last time, but i think at least im trying now, but the club's no good setting to find what im looking for..

im looking for.. (as i told jes).. stable steady pom pipiii. someone's who knows my balances, who fits and rolls with me without trying, someone who's really just like me. a tv fan, chillout person, hilarious yet serious depending whats required for the time, a lil bit of this and that, and how the hell would i know, so much about the guy with the music blasting in the background? not to mention the lousy pick up lines guys come up with nowadays. and they talk too much. guys who do not speak alot, but when they speak its sense, are my thing. not those that blabber non stop, hoping to impress.

i need to get a place to go to this fri night for dinner with someone. But i aint driving though im getting the car on wed (CHRISTMAS HOHOHO) cus he is driving. Hahah you know i prefer to be driven around, and i think guys look good when they are driving, shows that they are in control.

well. but if theres a need i dun mind driving guys ard too la. HOR JASON ANGELO.?!

wa. thats like alot of things i said, im waiting for time to pass till lesson time at 7thirtypm with the kids. Jacq and Fiona had to use their i-cant-believe-ester-is-a-teacher laugh on me that day during dinner.

but if you think then you are wrong, i am everything you didnt think i was. surprises are good arent they?

Sehba wants me to say good things about him on le blog but i can only think of how blind he is. LOL! How to play soccer for our country like that? tsk. aiya we still love you ok which is like no matter who blind we know you are, and lets pray you come to your senses quickly. amituofu.

2008-12-21T21:10:00.003+08:00

NYP's foodie umm i miss

avec jes and sehba

much has changed in the campus

yes, we know you are danm blind, you dun have to even try to cover your eyes. lol.

and then dinner with Marcsen Wong CHIMCHIM who got so damn drunk on wed night at butter.

2008-12-21T20:17:00.010+08:00

ready set go

jul popped by la maison to wash up before we head out and as usualllll she was late and behind schedule. But good thing we were on DJ Andrew T's guest list, so i let her daly as she wish.

borrows my moisturiser.

and screams that she loves my room.

finally when she was done, we flew out.

the weirdo and the belle.

Matthew Tyler who?

hat stealer

specs stealer

beatbox-ing

bumps dal

too tired to join dal and friend for zouk, so we chilled back at the vip area with andrew

2008-12-19T14:02:00.008+08:00

Wednesdays are girls' night out, so butter up!

after what feels like a decade, we managed to coax/force/trick the laoda s into seeing us.

they haven aged one bit. and we haven changed abit. Couldnt stop yakking to each other, with the updates and ahem some gossips and also some suan-ing of each other. I was so the victim that night. lol

so the laoda s think my legs are stick thin now and i lost alot of weight as compared to when i was their lil intern. and i told em oh, it was still minor, you should have seen paris aftermath. hurs.

'walau, how did you do it?'

i told them and they...

'you are disgusting!' (jes said the exact thing also on the next day to me when she heard the same thing)

me : 'zzzzz, but im healthy what'

alot of people are telling me not to go any skinnier, cus it would show in my face. It gets skinnier as well and i would look sick, as in ill kinda sick. lol. Me and jacq fall into this category, high cheekbones, face loses weight with the bod and we look ill being too skinny. SO. i have been eating la ok. eating alot actually.. I DO EAT.
Jul as usual was late! so much for being the one who texted me and reminded me not to be late. zzzz. lol

we were so busy talking and yadaa that the waiter had to come to us thrice to ask if we are ready for our orders to be taken. loads of funny shit happened, revolving round the waiter, him taking our orders and stuff. got weak in the knees from laughing. mytian.

the ever hot jul eating the equally hot hotpot.

and the ones who taught us fun in work. aiya your MAGNETTTSSSSS AHHHH LAODA JACQ.

the ramen werent even in what we would call bowls, i called it a bucket.

after the yum yums, we bid the ladies byes and plopped ourselves into the cab for Zouk.

listen up, we gt there at 9, jul joined her friends in the Q which was the first quarter of the never ending line formed and YET YET YET we couldnt get into Phuture. urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
bumped into Sehba and Aloy outside daly with them for awhile before we head to be buttered up instead since jul's friend DJ Andrew's spinning. Pretty nice guy who brought us all the way to the end of the party form 2am.

hahah since when did i have a ponytail. well look closely again. the hair color was so similar i had a shock too.

the night was great, music was relatively good, the company's fab and all went crazy. i had so much fun, and it was nice bumping into Mr Marcsen Chim, Josh and friend. They signed us into the VIP area which i really liked, cus it meant no more cheeky pick up lines and harrassements from super nerdy guys with funny dance moves.

butter staff avec jul

this DJ totally owned the crowd. i thought he beared an uncanny resemblance to cristian, my prof in Advancia.

more buttering up this sat, free passes.

2008-12-16T13:03:00.003+08:00

Mum's sick

so i had to say sorry to jes and meet her on another day. Had things to do, like.. hahaha the chores to do cus the alpha female is down so im definitely up. Basically Dad and Sherman AND Mum are sick. I am so sure the 3 of them sure have some relation to the prosperity of the clinic near our place. They are always seeing the damn doc.

I'm waiting for Sherman to learn his spelling and it has taken him 2 freaking weeks and more to learn how to spell one to twenty. So i am typing this and feeling quite pissed with that lil thing now. tmd.

he has only another 5 minutes to get all of them right.

prolly have to drive out later to get them dinner tonight. im just being random and making use of the 5 minutes.

its up!

bye.

2008-12-09T00:22:00.003+08:00

Eyes and Emeralds, Speed and Pace

cut the crap and act. Payback is so passe and its time you grow some brains.

go beyond that.

who deserves, shall get. now work, people!

2008-12-07T23:03:00.004+08:00

It's Official!

J's the new commando Officer!

*mentally pops champagne*

congrats hun! Am duper proud of ya. And i will be driving you soon to camp as promised (:

i told you you could do it, with you just being yourself. You made us all proud, esp your dad i am sure, cus he's a soldier too. I'm glad you pulled through Taiwan and shined. You deserve all the big hoo haas over this. lol

Last friday was a really good day for me and j, cus he got thru the interview and i passed my driving test. How else can a day be better?

2008-12-07T22:45:00.002+08:00

It's final

Today we signed the papers @ Alexander Road. The COE and car plate bidding is on. Pap had the gps on for me cus i have such lousy sense of directions. We are keeping the Toyota wish.

so make way when you see our third 1433 in metallic black. It will be out before Christmas. i do know how bloody much my dad loves me. He never even drove something like that yet. what more, insurance costs freakalot cus i'm a new driver on da road.

im reaaaally looking forward to the convertible experience of my own soon.

2008-12-06T15:32:00.002+08:00

Finally

i have gotten my driver's license. The second day i have passed the test, i drove out our big fat toyota wish to Tampines. It was slightly different to drive an auto car, but so MUCH more relaxing! My left leg was so free i think it wouldnt even matter if i actually placed it on the dashboard all the time. My mum was in the car and she said her heart was thumping so hard the whole time i was driving. She had to keep telling me to drive slowly slower and be careful of the body kit when i am turning. It was quite difficult for me to get down the multi storey carpark because for the most apparent reason, This is my first time driving sucha BIG car and the bumper was so low to the ground it was easy to scratch it.

the big boss says that the wish is gg at about only 40plus k at this moment and he will actually make quite some loss if he sells it. Esp he is letting go the stereo, 3 tv screens and the 18inch wheel rims and the body kit. All handpicked by him and cost bloody alot more than those made in thailand or china.

We are selling it once the price goes back up to bout 50plus and getting either the e-class or the mini. I am so praying that the COE shoots back up. right now, its the big fat toyota wish (:
Mum says if i can drive this, i can drive anything. hahahaa. yea huh, i can drive buses huh mum.

just a lil bit of grumbling about the cars and the big boss. sometimes i wonder if the big boss is crazy. He used to have the Estima, then he sold it got the camry, bought honda Jazz as a second fam car, sold it and bought the wish, then he sold the camry and bought the Mark X vertiga. So if he wanted the wish i wonder why the hell he sold his estima in the first place. He offered to keep the wish and buy me a smaller car to start off first something like the jazz and i asked him why the hell did he sell the Jazz back then then?!

and why should we pay 3 road taxes 3 insurances, 3 seasonal parking ticket and 3 of everything instead of just 2. ITS GLOBAL RECESSION LEH NOW, hello. Besides, my mum never ever really drives her car. Only to go to the supermarket, and nowehere beyond 6MRT stations away from our place for less than 3days outta 7 in a week.

hahaha i have a feeling she would have even lesser time with the new car. somehow. lol

2008-11-28T12:26:00.010+08:00

Wednesdays

are julia days.
Even though i cant really call it a day strictly speaking, cus la femme was terribly late. from the initial 5 thirty plan, i only caught sight of her at round 7 plus. But everything was uber nice nonetheless (:
and i totally know thats what happens when you have projects. grrrr.

We settled for dindin.
and by then i was already hungry dizzy.

the food made us wait and of cus we had to do something to take my mind off the food.

we call this the come get me look. Julia was laughing hysteriously at that.

came crashing down on the stomach

I give up! Give me my food!!

and after the 'maincourse', the bread kicks in as dessert. YUM. we were eating THAT much.

YUMs

'why you steal your brother's bottle?'after dinner, we walked and walked and walked and walked.

till we found ourselves here. Got to movit movit abit after eating so much.

we made many attempts to look like what we look like in the pictures. But we kept turning out being too tanned and oily. grrr. and when the whole world knows that we are fair like what.

so we decided that the next time we will take pictures in daylight. After her exams.

we made plans! lol. and its uhuh uhuh ahem ahem. wink wink, grin grin huh julia tan! (:

2008-11-25T23:33:00.003+08:00

Purrrrrrrrrrrrple

is definitely the new black for me. I have been picking out all the purple lil things that i buy. new purple bedsheets, purple 2009 organiser, purple every other here and there round in my room. It makes me happy so im not gonna stop picking out the purple things.

Ahh. and that gives me a great christmas present idea. Watch out for the purple, people!

I am again into my reading phase again and i love it! I sleep early and i wake up early to make breakfast, its like a new lease of life. Every morning i wake up, and i find myself smiling, with a mental 'GOOOODDD MORNINGGG dearrrrr!' to no one in particular. hahaha. Ooh and speaking of reading, im halfway through Jane Green's Mr Maybe. Something i bought in Sydney. I pretty much like it, cus it not only entertained, it reflected and it taught me. It's however, allow me to warn beforehand, very much a girl's read (:

Despite having bought a heap of books on the aussie trip which i have put off reading for awhile due to some unforseen circumstances, i still bought 2 other, from the MPH sales. One's 'the new couple' and the other titled 'God is not great'. They seem pretty interesting and worth debating over so yeap! Till i read, i will share.

Seeing jul again tmr! i'm gonna make omelette for brekkie tomorrow. YUM.

2008-11-23T18:16:00.003+08:00

Kiwi the sailorman

Yesterday, with the Sailor, who will always look like how he looks like. Always young. Tsk. He's back from his two week sail and would as usual tell me about what happens on the ship and yadda.

It's quite funny if i can find one of his pictures from long time ago. Scrawny and small. Now so... buffed. We met up to go croon.

Couldnt duet cus his key is too low and mine too high for him. So we took turns to practice. When he sings, i camwhore. hahahahaa. ah not really. just a couple of times.

The more i look at him, the more i feel that he would still look this child-like in his fifties. Way to go ah, i wish i'm like that.

we took pictures, recorded vids of me singing so i could review them at home. haha yes i am that serious. Smelly thinks im using too much of the nasal part so im trying to correct that. Review, Correct, Better singing TADAH!

Although i prefer calling him the sailorman, i think he prefers to be referred as MR. Agnes B. Wallet agnes B check, necklace agnes B check, handphone strap agnes b check. grrrrrrrr.

It was a good day, with good food, good time spent and yeap, basically all was good. The day was easy to pass and im happy that i have done so well.

I have gotten your answer and my directions.

2008-11-21T23:48:00.002+08:00

Tonight...

My one foot into a new phase.
i will bring out that journal and write abit, roll on my bed for awhile, put on my eye mask and try to sleep early. dance a lil in my dreams about you and wake up feeling like i had the whole world or so what if i didn't. for you may not sing with me now, but i will have faith in finding that one right voice to keep and to sing with, the voice that only sings about me.

2008-11-21T23:20:00.005+08:00

Hey P, its ya birthday!

as i said earlier in the morn today, i woke up ridiculously early at 7.38am for no apparent reason. So i went online to look for dog bakeries and was totally sorry to find out that 3 days advance order has to be made for the b-day cakes. next year ok, P !

Of course birthdays are not birthdays without cakes, therefore we bought P his favourite Cheesecake instead. Yes, he loveeessss cheese. I think all pooches do! Will get him his real doggie style cake on his second birthday. It feels great, looking through the pictures of him becoming an adult from that tiny lil thing i brought home. I remembered that night we finally decided to buy a pooch and picked him from his litter. He was showered, dried, brushed and shoved into my arms by the farm owner. I held him in my arms during the car ride home. (silently praying that he doesnt pee on the way home, on me) And it seemed that he was too tired to even do that. He slept safely in my arms all the way home. (actually it was just one hand i needed to hold him)

And after the internet search, i went outta the room and made breakfast for the big boss today! Extra extraaaaa toppings. LOLs. I dun really like to feed him bread cus it aint really good for them but P, like me, loves bread so i thought ok! Just today ok, you lil rascal! and in it went, the bread.

hey y'all its my birthdayyy!
P looks like many circles after grooming.
something about him, so cheeky, so like me.
i love you i loveeee u p, so much so that i do not mind having to go on long term medication to keep you with me (:

ahhh. The doc recently said..

Doc: 'ahh, you have such strong relationship with your dog ah, next time when you are married, sure very strong in your relationship with the man also ah'

me: 'and i pray i am not allergic to the man'

hahaha. i thought my answer was quite witty. And why do old man like to punctuate their sentences with ahh and huhhs?

oh oh back to the boss.
even after the haircut, we could not find his eyes. TSK.

roarrrrrr he's actually raising one paw to fight me. you have got guts you!

here are the eyes. Big and pretty eyes.

tsk. he just wouldnt calm down even for one sec. Maddog in the house. He was so excited to be back from grooming and so happy that i hugged him that he totally lost it.

from what fills just my palm to this.

The cheesecake!

bought him shiny new gates! and food, and toys and gave him loadsssss and loaddsss of love today. He should be feeling extremely loved. (:

Fact is, i feel very loved too.

P may be a toy poodle but he has a heart of a lion. Whenever he hears someone outside the house not from la fam, he would bark at them. And i didnt even conduct guard training on him. As you see, he knows who are family and who are not, and he would protect his fam.

us.

Happy 1st Birthday Peanut Voon.

2008-11-21T08:25:00.002+08:00

Peanut turns One!

Hurrrray. The lil ball of brown fur has finally turned one (: You must be wondering why am I up and outta bed so early. Beats me too. I just did, and without feeling sleepy! I'm checking on the internet for dog bakeries so we can go buy the pooch a cake later!

What more! In an hours' time, the groomers are coming to get P for a good bath and a haircut. Let's hope they do get it when i tell them no more french pood cuts. Cus it makes P looks overaged and snobbish. But fact is, we do know that P is just another lovely scruffy ball of brown fur that deserves to look like his personality.

Like this.

See how small he was when we just got him. hahaha And how big i was back then lol. Now if i have to carry him, i have to use both my hands and i struggle - alot if he squirms around and tryda lick, hug, kiss whatever me.

If Dr. Lee sees all this, he will fly into a orange ball of flames. hahahaa. But well! It's his birthday, and i havent been able to hold him for a long time.

Ah, i will post the pictures of the newly groomed P after this.

Just today ok, I promise (:

and....

Good morrninggggg everyone! Rise and Shine all you sleepyheads.

ooh it sure feels good to be the one saying that.

Early bird,

2008-11-19T23:48:00.003+08:00

Today!

before meeting up with Julia, Mum brought me to her very SHENQI foot reflexology master. lol. He didnt even massage my feet thats one thing but he could pin accurately how my life was like, late nights, irregular meals blabla. He only looked at the soles of my feet and i pinned my all my assets down to make an appointment. Ah, im not telling you the details. But, I am just damn unhealthy, weak and yeah, worse off than my mum. Who's in her forties. (: Great huh great. I need to be healthy now. Today will be the last day im eating all those junk and sleeping late.

First thing Julia did when she saw me was shrieked (yes no less) at how much weight i have lost since she last saw me. Which was bloody long ago la. And i still had some post-Parisien living fats in me then. so yeap!

i think its getting more and more apparent how unhealthy i am. It actually shows in my face. Just look at Julia, with her pink and fair complexion, I am just... pale. hahahaa. OK, thats why my mum says im too 'WHITE' (in her own words). I do get sun, so yeap. please dun go on nagging at me ok.
So..... It all started with Julia's crazy shopping spree of accessories and sexy lingerie. WOOOOH. lols. She spent like everything was free, hmm actually i can say that she spent like me. The old old old old me laaaaa. hahahahahaa. But well! she earns her own keeps, so i salute that! (:
Miss independence...thats why i love herrrrrrrr *ne-yo plays in the head mentally*

ahh. we didnt manage to take alot of pictures cus it was raining and we couldnt get a place to sit down and properly camwhore. There were some pictures of which her cheeks was like a 'chipmunk' as what she says, or her or my eyes are closed, or we just look BLAHHHHH. those pictures, shall be thrown to the outer space. I look so unhealthy in the shots i just wanna delete all of them actually. hahaha. But then again. i need a before-i-get healthy picture.

she looks great la. so yeap. its gonna be more of her picturesss (:

not enuff sleep huh. Yes, i woke up at 9thirtyam. 2 hours earlier than usual.

But im still delighted to see her! We will be meeting up soon again, and hopefully i can look happier, healthier, more awake and yeah just better. hahahaha. I WILL.

see what i mean huh. In this white light picture you see her being rosy and me being just 'white'. tsk tsk. its got nothing to do with blusher, i swearrrr.

presenting Miss independence, Julia Tan. In her lovely non chipmunk looking shot. She just wouldnt believe that she does not look like chipmunks. Thing is i think, her cheeks gives her her look.

love the smile. more confident for sure post braces. I see myself in that part.

well, so thats it! We and julia went home after the cakes, me back home to get healthy and she to butter fact. Happening wonderwoman. hahaha. We made a deal to meet up soon again. I hope everything will just fall into places as time passes (:

The dates, the things and the people.

and now, i am going to the bed.

Bonne nuit et xoxo,

2008-11-18T23:22:00.005+08:00

Fin nar leeeeeeeee

i'm going to see Miss Julia Tan Qiu Rong again tomorow. Let me see hur, i haven seen her for sucha freaking long time i have lost track of how long. Tsk. just look at the last picture we took together. When i had braces still! and my face was squarish! gasps!

but heeheehee. finally tomorrow im gonna be able to make her laugh again. She gets ticklish easily and would laugh at 9 outta the 10 things i would tell her. It makes me feel accomplished in some ways actually. lol So if she cancels on me tomorrow, there will be NO TOMORROW for miss ballerina Julia Tan. (:

oh and over the weekends, i went to..
i know i know you are hating me now, those of you who will only be back in Singapore at the end of this month. And alot of you are such food people. Trust me, its devastating for me to tell you that today (GASPS!) yes today is the last day.
awww.

Butttttttttttt. if you are an IT person, Chim told me that there would be an IT fair in 2 weeks time! Im gonna need a new laptop, so i will prolly be there, and i hope my laptop will last till then! If it dies on me, with my pictures and videos and music inside. I will........................

be more devastated than having to tell you that the Food Expo est fini aujourdhui!

2008-11-17T23:18:00.001+08:00

Bloody creepy

Ester says:
neways

Ester says:
what horoscope are you?

boOn: [what you meet is what you can beat] says:
taurus
boOn: [what you meet is what you can beat] says:
correct spelling
boOn: [what you meet is what you can beat] says:
shitz getting worse

Ester
says:
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

boOn: [what you meet is what you can beat] says:
ok
boOn: [what you meet is what you can beat] says:
all 3 of u all taurus?

Ester says:
bloody creepy
Ester says:
lol
Ester says:
all four of us

2008-11-17T22:34:00.002+08:00

It's quite ...

shiok, honestly, for people to take what you say seriously. and im seeeeeriously quite pleased. lol

boOn: [what you meet is what you can beat] says:
=)

Wilfred M. works in Adidas and he will be going for a run organized by his company, and all of the staff taking part have to print their tagline and wear them on the day of the run. I was casually chatting with him online one day when he told me about the hectic week he was going to have, and i told him not to worry. cus what you meet is what you can beat.

and hahaha apparently he liked what i said pretty much and it stayed as his msn nick for a week now and he told me last night that it would be the tagline he will wear during the Adidas Run.

aye can you print in super small italic print below the line, 'inspired by ester V.'? lol

next time i am going to charge ah. and dun you dare use this line for any of the new adidas products campaign hahahahahahaha. alright, im just pulling ya leg. am more than happy to inspire an Adidas product Tagline if i get to, one day.

2008-11-16T02:21:00.002+08:00

Get well, get better, Shawnie

I hope your pain will be short-lived and it would go away this very minute (: Glad that you are ready to pack and leave for Perthy. Everyone's leaving singapore and i'm feeling a little tempted to go away also. But the fact is school is starting Jan for me here and i will have to stay. Those leaving again soon, leave a part of you with me, and be back soon to refill the love i use up while ya away.

nice getaway to Hongkong in December? wya see.

2008-11-15T00:29:00.003+08:00

Happy 170th hour!

ahuh. i went to the doc's yet again. and again he screamed at me bout the pooch and again (!!) suggested i get married. I think he's getting too old and the fact that i am only in my early and rising twenties has not apparently sat very well on his mind.

so he gave me loadssss of medicine and my folks still are very keen to have my blood drawn and tested. its getting more ridiculous by the day. today, my mum and bro even say things like 'you are too fair la you, should go and get some sun'. hello i get sunnnnnn la. i walk to work from the MRT station, ahem. and i like the fact that i am fair. ok. thankyouverymuch. i will go and have my blood tested and if i have cancer or what, i will let you guys know.

anyway chim already knows what to do during my big farewell. Ah, all i need is a will. like who zhu will go to, who will get my chanels and who will gasp! inherit my room! lol.

zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

hey, breakaleg!

2008-11-12T20:16:00.002+08:00

Lin Jun Jie is such dope. like Jay Chou. I listen to them alot when im zoning out and staring outta the window, into the rainy freaky grey skies. Like today. And i actually heard one of JJ's new song. Its on repeat mode, replacing bubbly. lol.

aye, go and listen to it. Simple melody, but so much weight in his lyrics. (: the Mv's cute. Tsk, i still wanna go ktv, ANYONE?

我还想她--林俊杰

泪水将我淹没到底谁该难过
究竟是谁放掉这段感情我才终于明白
办不到的承诺就成了枷锁
现实中幸福永远缺货

请告诉她我不爱她
笑着难过自我惩罚
想终止这一切挣扎横了心说真心谎话

别告诉她我还想她
恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口就让沉默代替所有回答

我才终于明白办不到的承诺就成了枷锁
现实中幸福永远缺货

请告诉她我不爱她
笑着难过自我惩罚
想终止这一切挣扎横了心说真心谎话
别告诉她我还想她
恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口就让沉默代替所有回答

我不爱我不痛我不懂我的心早已掏空真心话言不由衷

请告诉她我不爱她
笑着难过自我惩罚想终止这一切挣扎横了心说真心谎话
别告诉她我还想她

恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口就让沉默代替所有回答
别告诉她我还想她就让沉默代替所有回答

You will agree with me that he can make simple melodies sound so, good. Try singing this song, and you will find it sounding so ordinary. I hear alot alot of talent. hahaa.

OK, im gonna try to memorise the lyrics now so i can sing it tomorrow during the chores.

2008-11-12T14:37:00.002+08:00

Bye, the smallest of my classes.

I hope you guys had fun!

2008-11-10T21:46:00.003+08:00

What i get on my worksheets

the many many ways i tried to 'make' them understand i am attached, like placing my cellphone on the table, putting a male figure as my wallpaper and raising my real life examples didnt seem to work. Hahaha. the boss will flip to see what they wrote but they actually do make me smile, sometimes even laugh.

hilariously cute.

one batch is graduating tomorrow. I'm actually afraid of having too much free time. hmm. and the kids would be moving on to the next level. so i will for sure have more free time than what i already have now.

i need to find things/peopl to keep myself busy with.

i think i will go back to some of the classes. maybe dance, maybe yoga, maybe guitar, maybe french. we will see, we will see.

those i owe you, i will return them once i have the time (:

2008-11-10T21:24:00.003+08:00

There was no work today

.. which was the main reason why i got to spend so much time with myself. (roll eyes) phone was quiet cus i switched it off, went on the internet a little in the afternoon after the usual routine stuf that follows getting outta bed (with a smile of cus).

actually planned to go hang out outside, maybe spend some money and complete some retail therapy but i woke up to this great great gloomy weather that had 'stay in stay in and zone out' written all over the sky. my, was i convinced.

i read dummies and fell asleep on my bed, feeling absolutely great. cus i know i am owning time. i am wasting time and i could very well afford it. (: love that feeling. Mum had been nagging at me the whole of today to go for a body check up. La famillie have finally realised my drop in weight which was quite drastic, when i put on the really old old clothes i have not worn for years- again. ok la 3 years la, i was plump for 3 years, and fat for that 4 months in Paris. lol

Cus i have been getting mozzie bites-like rashes on my arms these few days, she thinks my hormones are screwed up cus i became thinner. She was like 'but it never happened when you were fat last time! you better go and have a blood test you know'

tsk.

you know, i dun wanna go like f! cus its gonna bloody hurt, and i am so not a fan of needles and syringes and gasps! blood.

but thing is, i have had sensitive skin since forever, and my doc said this just last week to me.

'your dog still there ah, tsk i thought i told you no
DOGSSSS!?'
'hurhur, cannot give away la, then how....'
'you will never be totally ok if the dog is there, ester.
How old are you?'
'umm 20?'
'get married la, then you dun have to live with your dog,
sure recover'
'zzzz, hmm a bit early huh'
'then how? you will keep being allergic'
'come to you laaaaa, i know you can make me
better!'

finally he like abit more happy and finally releases me from his room. phew.

ok la full body check this sat. i will NOT think about the needle, i will NOT look at the needle, I will NOT be afraid, i will NOT chicken out. i WILL go for the damn test.

if i'm perfectly ok, i will strangle my mum. ok la, not really. how about strangle her at the arm at the very least?

2008-11-10T00:28:00.003+08:00

Bon voyage, J!

have loads and loads of fun in taiwan. (zzzz of cus i know you are gg for training not hols but i know you can make the best outta it) take care of yourself and yeah, dun forget to bring back my goodies lol. I will see in end of Nov, which is actually pretty soon.
you are doing so far so good so keep it up. thing is no matter what you come out as, from the leaders course, we are still darn proud of you.

see you alright!

2008-11-09T23:53:00.005+08:00

I think i

do know how you feel now. And it must have not been easy, to hear me talk about all those things. It's not like me to be that insensitive, but i cannot return what i cannot return now. maybe not now. i want nothing destroyed cus i need what i have left now, i will protect it, i will protect us.

Need to clear my mind. and what irony, i find myself in p's shoes now, saying his words. For those i have hurt and disappointed, i am sorry. I am not sorry for not being able to return your feelings, i am sorry you had to go through this.

i do love you, but not in that way i will, i can. maybe someday i may. but not today.

2008-11-09T21:41:00.003+08:00

a letter i hope you won't read. that says all the things that i wanna say but you dont have to know.

my routine is disrupted but yet i feel nothing but a sense of understanding and calmness. i still cry when i have to relate this whole thing, but i am positive about whats ahead. everything's planned and i will just go on with my plans. sometimes i hate it when people come telling me that you are strong, come on be strong, i know you will make it, and they expect me to make it.
the thing is, i know i will make it, but i just wished people didnt know i was this strong so it wouldnt be that easy for them to get away with hurting me.

i understand you cus i understand myself, and if i were you i would have done the same. all or none. i agree to it i agree with you. im counting on nothing cus i have nothing xcept fate. if this is one obstacle before forever, tell whoever is above that i am on. and if it is not, i will hold my head high as always, and continue to look for the one who fits and rolls and will stick forever.

i am what i see in you. we are so alike we could have been twins born 2 years apart lol, agressive, decisive. strong, verbal, idealistic, honest, brave, responsible and the list will just go on. We share the same vision and we feel the same way with issues we talk about.

i should not be saying this, buti know that i may not say this or feel this if time passes for too long, so im gonna say it for the last time now and that is, actually i miss you, your million dollar smile, your hilarious ears, even the too-short hair that i have not even seen yet since your last haircut. i miss your presence in my routine, my life. i miss you cus you have creeped into my life unknowingly and you planted yourself in my heart. now the place is empty and i cant help but miss you sometimes. the feeling hits me, and leaves me and comes back again. but everytime it comes, i say to myself, bring it on, im smiling yo. and i smile, truthfully to myself knowing that i hurt cus i once have given away some parts of me. And its really bout the journey and not the destination, i may not have gotten there but i was once on the way to it. Giving is worth being happy about. And i'm proud of myself, cus i have once again learnt. from myself. i didnt need no one.

you may not miss me, you may not even feel like my missing presence, or you may even be enjoying the peace you are granted. and thats why, i cant show and i cant tell you that i miss you. i dun wanna want you more than you want me. i dun want you to take me for granted. i dun want you to feel guilty or whatsoever. cus you dun have to be. it was not your fault that you dun see me in that light. i know how it feels, trust me. i sure do. so just take your time and find the answer you need. i will be moving on, occassionally stopping to miss the good times we had just like i would miss a real good friend. when you are ready, sprint, and if fate allows, you will find us. i just want to say that i am thankful for the short short moments that we spent being really happy together (hahaha not really TOGETHER LA but virtually together laaa ok), and i think it should be enuff for me.

i told myself and now i already believed that you are doing this for me. thats the only thing i wanna believe in now that all this is happening for a better cause, with the best intentions (well maybe not with the best method) and that is, cus you are protecting me.
i cried only cus i am hurting, just like how it would hurt to say bye to a friend moving away to elsewhere farfaraway.

i can move on and i will. i will be good, and so must you. i wun be waiting but i will be looking forward to what the one above has planned for me.

2008-11-08T23:09:00.003+08:00

It was like

having god hear me when my boss called me and told me there would be no classes on sunday and monday last night. lol. i need to have a good long rest, to retune everything. uhhh. i duno what to do now, cus i wanna go and read but im uploading a vid on facebook and its taking foreverrrrrrrr.

xoxo,

2008-11-08T21:55:00.003+08:00

Some pictures taken earlier this week

being smiley (:
and on the day of babysitting.
camwhore in training.
your daddy is YOUR daddy and my daddy is also YOUR daddy. happy?

being out singing today and yesterday. i officially announce that singing is one good therapy for the troubled. time literally flies when you are in the room singing. Takes your mind off alot of things you wanna leave. Not applicable if you don't really dig singing though! you can maybe try reading. speaking of reading! I HAVEN BEEN REALLY READING, but im gonna start again. its like the old life is back, the tv-ing, reading, blogging vibes all come knocking on my doors again.

ah, those of you reading this and feeling doubtful, chillout! i'm fine. i will be back better stronger sexier (maybe not taller) prettier, smarter, cuter, harder to get. hahahahahaa.

what doesnt kill will strengthen with time. i hope it will happen to me, im trying to smile and stay positive everyday. the day i dun have to try, i will be everything i promised to be.

and you, pointy, watch out for that.

(: stay tuned.

2008-11-08T12:50:00.001+08:00

I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feelin' like a child now'
Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglees in a silly place
It starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes I always know
That you make me smile

Please stay for a while now

Just take your time

Wherever you go
The rain is fallin' on my window pane

But we are hidin' in a safer place

Under the covers stayin' safe and warm

You give me feelings that I adore
They start in my toes

Make me crinkle my nose

Wherever it goesI always know

That you make me smile

Please stay for a while now

Just take your time

Wherever you go
What am I gonna say

When you make me feel this way?

I just, mmm
It starts in my toes

Makes me crinkle my nose

Wherever it goes

I always know

That you make me smile

Please stay for a while now

Just take your time

Wherever you go
I've been asleep for a while now

You tucked me in just like a child now

'Cause every time you hold me in your arms

I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth
It starts in my soul

And I lose all control

When you kiss my nose

The feelin' shows

'Cause you make me smile

Baby just take your time now

Holdin' me tight
Wherever, wherever, where ever you go

Wherever, wherever, where ever you go

2008-11-07T23:26:00.003+08:00

only when i really need someone, do i realise i actually have no one (:
i got what i asked for.

2008-11-06T14:12:00.003+08:00

I spent last night

late '08

going through the many many many pictures in my com. Some dated all the way back to those secondary days. when pink was the only criteria i would consider in my merchandise and whatever i owned. lol. ok that was like one the most hilarious and stupidest part of my whole life. go on, laugh about it. cus even i find all that incredibly impossible.

early '08

and if you really noticed, the pictures in this post brings you back in time. to those days i tried damn hard to look cute. hahaha. cus i so hated people telling me that i look older than i actually was. i always got pissed off. so i resorted to wearing cute, talking cute, looking cute and yeah, basically acting cute. lol. just to prove that i am not THAT old. and man, if i was old-looking last time, what am i now man. cus when i look at myself now and back then, i have aged again!!

horror of all horrors!

late '07 after byebye to braces

'06 still having braces

'05, ok go on and laugh. hahaha polka dotted headband. zzz
and no braces yet.

haha actually i still have those super duper ah lian looking pictures. but .. they are for private viewing only lol. im quite sure majority of you whos reading this, had seen me with my outrageously dyed tresses and yup, you get my drift.

just for gags today.

2008-11-06T13:58:00.003+08:00

Sherman's performance

in his school's grad ceremony

his very getai aliked costume. lol. He had to put on make up and contrary to popular beliefs thats boys gets pissed off if you try to make them up, he was more than happy to be made up. very accepting kid. hahahaa.but im quite sure he will regret this, cus i will keep these pictures and laugh at him when he starts growing his ego.

haha. where are your eyes darling!

and here goes his class. playing the handbell or so thats what they call it. they looked so blur and cute, all eyes on their teacher who's really just squatting below the stage to conduct 'em.

of cus the performances werent perfecto, but they were just kids and fact that they didnt faint seeing so many people in the church all of the sudden was remarkable. i remembered when i first performed in my secondary school, i nearly went jelly legged. hahahaaha.

dressed up to be everything they are not ranging from old ah mas, ah peks, beggars yaddayaddak.

hmm try to spot sherman.

2008-11-05T22:49:00.002+08:00

you are dead, Jason

cus we have planned good stuff for you on fridayyyyyyy. look forward alright!

2008-11-05T16:18:00.002+08:00

New Dress-Up!

for, le blog. (: its really different from how it looked before. The previous one reflected somewhat the toughness in me. thats just one part of me. i guess this one, reflects the girly wirrly.

hmm ultimately, i am ever changing. and this is a time, for changes.

2008-11-02T23:46:00.002+08:00

Friday, a day with Shawn and Joel

to catch up on the many many times we haven see each other for and to get the books boon told shawn to pass to me before he went back to Perth.
Children's book, i realised only that day. lol

so we chilled out for awhile at starbucks. it was already 3plus, and the weather's not exactly ester-friendly.

umm. now i seem to really miss my long hair. i chopped off my tail yesterday, cus i wanted to grow my hair again, to its length as it was when i was in Paris. Will take a while, i know.

dinner at sushi tei @ Paragon was good. cus i so diggggg jap food.

and finally Joel joins us, after his work at OCBC. and the gay partners are dressed in the same tee and caught donning the same phone. GASPS? this is more than meets the eye.

couple phones huh.
Joel ate at Billy bombers, where me and Shawn just stared athim dig into his beef burg. after we went to nydc for the cakes. (: apple crumble for me. aint really fantastic, but good enuff for someone who was feeling like having a cake after dinner.

HAPPY 20TH JASON ANG.
welcome to the club of the big 2-0s. loads and loads of love.

and start thinking of good things to say about my future pls. quit playing the jealous BFF la. zzzzzzzzz

go, commando.

coming up:

pictures taken @ Sherman's school grad concert

J's mini birthday lunch @ Sakae Sushi

2008-10-29T15:10:00.003+08:00

Chim has been acting all funny these days

it's a good thing but i'm just surprised everytime he's is outta the norm nice to me. hahahahahaa. aye you good ah. keep it up.

marcsen says:
next year your birthday GG..
marcsen says:
must buy bag
Ester says:
hahaha my birthday?
Ester says:
still long la
Ester says:
you what?!!! buy me LV BAG ???
Ester says:
hahahahaha
marcsen says:
still long
Ester says:
siao ah you!
marcsen says:
but expensive man
marcsen says:
i thot u want your chanel bag?
marcsen says:
dont want already ar?
Ester says:
i bought already!
marcsen says:
wa... save
Ester says:
(: in auss
marcsen says:
ohhhh
marcsen says:
then i dont need buy liao
marcsen says:
lol
Ester says:
4k.
marcsen says:
yup u told me alr
Ester says:
yeah lor.
Ester says:
you buy me a 4k bag i will faint ok
Ester says:
i think must marry you already
marcsen says:
i mean u told me the price, but nv tell me you bought liao
marcsen says:
you 4k marry liao sia. wa
marcsen says:
good investment

Ester says:
hahah as in where got such nice people one
Ester says:
lol
marcsen says:
-.-
marcsen says:
kk
marcsen says:
nvm
marcsen says:
now i can keep the money for myself lol

aye, CHEYYYYY act only. hahhahaa.

/i'm actually damn pissed, so im posting this to tryda feel less pissed with louis. (: breathe in breathe OUT.

2008-10-29T00:24:00.002+08:00

i strained myself

but i just can't feel it.

2008-10-28T13:10:00.002+08:00

Yesterday

i spent the whole day figuring out my new samsung omnia. it's my first time with a pda phone and i cannot remember how many times i said 'ahhhhhhhhhhhhh' while figuring the phone out. Im so now a technology person. actually i just needed a phone that receives and makes calls and messages and take good pictures, and plays music and errrr i think thats all you know. oh, and looks nice and sleek.

im real easy to please when it comes to things like that. (: e2's got a new phone too and he says its a man's phone. mine's a ladies phone then. hahaha i hope none of you guys are using this, but if you are, theres no need to feel too gay.

so.....

last night, my cousin ran away from home. She's only 14 and it has been a day since she walked out. my ahyi and older cousins drove around and tried looking for her the whole day but .. she was nowhere to be found. Tried speaking to her last night but she was nothing but stubborn and insistent. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with her new so called bf, and i hope she's didnt just spend the night at his place. i felt more understanding towards her last night, but this morning, when i heard my ahyi's voice, i am actually pissed off with her. i hate it when they dont appreciate what they have. They have a great mum and what the hell is wrong with a mother protecting her daughter from she knew could very well happen to her daughter and come to hurt her.

a daughter who desperately wants to grow up, wants to have fun, wants to be happening, wants to be in a relationship. i almost saw my past flashed past me. But for the records, i never ran away from home, call it guts i would very much appreciate it if you do, i would be home, facing the mother and telling her what i want. in the face. i don't hide. cus it looks damn retarded, and how 'cool' can this be? please tell me you can survive and go on being away from home with no pocket money, no one to wash your clothes for you, no one to buy you food, no one to cook for you, no one to even care for you. tell me your liitle underaged and still-going-thru-puberty bf can help you with that. (: dream on.

you had a nice family, whatever you wanted they would buy you, your dad loves you, no correct that he literally spoilt you rotten, your mum is the bad guy who really too loves you alot. you live in a nice house, your dad would come in his mercedes to pick you up whenever you go hang out with your friends. and you hate it. im fainting, i am. if my dad ever offers, i will make him come fetch me EVERYTIME.

so yeah now the mum is sick and she is still gg around looking for you, you heartless lil thing. SHE IS SICK. and are you kissing your barely matured baby boy right now? eww. just the thought alone, activates my hand, and i so wanna give ya a slap now. for being so stupid and being sucha greattttttt daughter.

i just cannot believe what you did.

and i cant believe you didnt realise whatever she did, she did it for you. urgh, you are so fucking retarded NEOYUANXIN. she's like the best mum. (sometimes i think she's better than my very own) but yeah she is one of the BESTEST MUM. and you just freaking broke her heart.

i cant take you breaking her heart thats all. and im sorry but i actually hope something bad happens to you, if it can make u see, how stupid you had been.

and yeah, somehow i couldnt get to sleep last night although i was in bed already by 2plus. my mind kept working and i think i only went into sleep at 3 thirty. yeah and im hungry now. 24 more days.

2008-10-26T01:04:00.003+08:00

I'm real tired

but happy to see the paris-peeps after sucha long time.we had simple fare of dinner and some catching up then it was time for home.

earlier today, i met j and we just basically updated each other of what happened in our lives. (: Like ling, i know i can count on him. But he was actually half dead, been freshly outta the fieldtrip so i did most of the talking until i started zoning out and feeling sleepy also. lol.

im not hiding anything in my bag, im just text-ing on my phone la.

2008-10-24T14:40:00.005+08:00

I have been

skyping alot these days and last night i spoke to j-baptise, who just arrived in Russia and where he will be staying for the next 10 months. Newly single and ready to take on the russian challenges up next, it was great to see and catch up with him. He asked me more than thrice when i was going to go and see him. In Europe. and i had to keep telling him, that i will when i have the money. its true. alot of money, i will need. lol

just days ago, we bought a digital photo frame and i had just finished inputing the pictures, and that includes p's pictures. he was sucha small lil thing back then, and i could easily scoop him up from the ground with one hand. but now! he's one big guy. (: P's turning one on 21st Nov by the way.

ooh, and just now, louis came back with a love bite on his neck of which he claims to be a mozzie bite. lol. me and mum, looked at each other ,smiled and gave him that 'yeah right' look together.
'what a big mosquito!' i commented. hahaha.
hello bro, we are not budding girls, we are your sis and mum, we know what are love bites. (:

me to mum when louis went to the showers :' aye mummy, ya gonna be grandma soon, excited or what?'

and she rolls her eyes.

/edited

NOW louis comes into my room trying to explain how he got his 'mozzie bite', now claiming that its a love bite his male friend gave him outta fun. yeah right yeah right just now it was a mozzie bite now its a gay love bite. what exactly is it? hahaha.

i told him not to bother. cus i am sure not interested in listening to anything anyone who lied to me, has to tell me. and he lies to us on a daily basis if not hourly. he prolly thought of this version of explanation when he was shampooing his hair in the showers.

2008-10-24T01:07:00.004+08:00

Today in class

with my china chinese students, all males. and they are the second group of guys i teach in that company and my favourite. because they are mor proactive, they ask questions and they interact with the teacher, me. (: even though i was feeling a lil tired from the classes, they really made me smile when they told me that they wanted to have extra classes with me, even if they have to pay for it themselves.

and today, they wanted to know how old i was. of course, i told them its a secret. Sunday's the other batch, and on tuesdays i get another group but a mix of male and female students whose in the service industry.

its a bit funny that they call me laoshi when i know in fact i am younger than all of them. cept 2 or 3. lol. but then again i would never tell them my age. i could easily pass off as someone old enuff and alot older than i truly am.

and these days, i have been smiling to myself alot. getting sillier by the day.

2008-10-22T23:25:00.004+08:00

Mr. Mountbatten and ~~his nose job~~ op

rich kids never stay in lousy wards. haha and they get auto upgrade billed to their daddys. Yes, chim i am talking about you. you spoilt little thing. and no, your nose did not just become sharper. hahahha.
he just had to keep showing that hand with a needle this ___________ long poked into it. it was damn gross and it looked so painful. and all i could do was threaten to pinch his nose until it becomes like a piece of human skin and nothing else.
he was craving for ice kachang cus he said that eating cold stuff helps him feel better. couldnt find any, so i bought him ben and jerry's.
Ling came, and it was like the best thing in the week that happened to me. Telling her things that i found it hard to tell anyone was the biggest relief. Cus i know she knows. becus she is like me. she is me. she is taurus. and she is my BFF. i wasnt disappointed. it was like i actually found strength in her, to face what i was feeling and, finally to manage to put them into comprehendable forms. whats after, is simply yup and haha. (: i'm alot of silliness, i know.

vic's sending us love letters and a CD. i duno what CD but its really the love i feel coming into my mailbox. love from L.A! and honey, as much as i hope that all 3 of us could be in the same school again, (would be the most fab thing to happen), i also wish very much for you that you get whats on the top of your list. love you.

2008-10-21T03:03:00.004+08:00

Actually..

maybe things werent that complicated afterall. or is it cus i have just seen that line go from blurred to clearer? (: thanks to the defense mechanism, i think i got it already. my head's clearer and its time to open my eyes now.

i'm going to try to find my piece. because i think it's time to even start looking. who knows how long i would take, having to meet some too sharp, too big, too small, too round or could not roll before a prefect fit who rolls with me hahaha.

and, i have a plan, a string of actions to correct that one step i have taken too far out.

2008-10-20T23:25:00.004+08:00

I wonder

how ~~french~~ angmoh kids can look cute anyhow. hahhaa and thomas looks like an french ah beng with that pose. lol. btw i like that shirt.

Thomas says:
yinwei wo feng le !
Thomas says:
dagai....
Ester says:
haha.. yes ni yi ding shi feng le.
Thomas says:
first. i dont believe u are ordinary
Thomas says:
second. even if you were, it seems in lot of people eyes u are not ! on the contrary you are so special to many people
Thomas says:
third. im one of these million people
Thomas says:
fourth. dui wo feng le.

i think Mr. Salou has just put many of you and your miserable chinese standards to shame. and who's gonna believe you got to this stage without a chinese girlfriend? you have both my thumbs up.

2008-10-20T00:14:00.002+08:00

All the best

for chim and his nose op. Note, its not a nose job. what a waste. hahaha. You wil be fine, and im coming to see you and your swollen nose on tues k. hang in there.

/the line is blurring.

2008-10-18T01:34:00.002+08:00

On a lighter note...

i came across our photos, jules. i mean let's all say HAPPY BIRRRTHDAY AGAIN, this time on my blog. hahaha. Last year, you had to spend it with me, and i hope it wasnt too bad! we only had each other back then! Unfortch, this year we didnt get to spend this very magical day together, but nonetheless, after a year, i still can say that im so so fortunate to have found you. you are my pride, and a whole load of great memories to me. If there's one best poly leaving gift, its you. (:

im posting this cus , im really missing you all of a sudden. alot.
jiayou on the studies. you know you can! so do i. jiayou jiayou zhuliteng.

2008-10-18T00:02:00.003+08:00

so, the meet up

's cancelled.

I had been thinking. about the past, about the mistakes i have made, the people i have met and left. Many times i tell myself, not to think about things i need not think about. Not to do things that i need not do. Not all the time, i can convince myself enough to obey. Parts of those memories makes me look stupid. utterly stupid. and it sure doesnt feel good to feel this way. Had been thinking about this person. maybe i never really had forgiven him. If i did, why do i feel so bitter that he's happier than me now. been going through the pictures in my laptop, some dated years back. That's really why i like taking pictures cus they could tell me things i may have forgotten, and when i seek, i am allowed to make judgements based on what i see.

~~urgh im backspacing too much. cant find the right words and i cant put them into sentences.~~

~~bye.~~

actually you don't even know me.

2008-10-17T13:14:00.002+08:00

this morning

i found it so hard to leave my bed. cus it was raining outside when i was still half asleep and it felt like a good sleep-in day. but i had things to do, a plan to follow. so as usual, breakfast, chores, work prep, some tv, coach sherman, dinner, some tv or reading, bring the pooch for a walk and if i feel like it, blog and go on msn.

its funny how time can be slow and yet fast sometimes. sometimes it flies, sometimes it crawls. last night it flew. haha. before i knew it i had been on skype for more than 4 hours and the clock read 5am. not that im someone who sleeps early but 5am! i was pretty much stoning in front of the webcam by then. hahahaha. laughed too much at the beginning (alot of energy), at someone's singing. ahem.

aites, im getting back to work.

2008-10-15T02:21:00.002+08:00

I just...

dashed outta the house at 12 am to check out which idiot yet again for the 12345678th time in a row triggered the alarm system of our car. The device shows that the impact was on the right of the car. (yes its THAT specific, it says right front door) And so it had to be that stupid honda jazz. because on the left, was my mum's car. I was ready to kick the ass of whoever i would find down there. but i found no one. that was one lucky bastard. i swear if he hits our car again, i would fly down and seriously teach him some manners.

been busy with classes. and its confirmed, im going to attend school 09 Jan. Finally, im doing uni. its a lil late but i will do good (: i want my double major.

2008-10-09T21:34:00.031+08:00

Auss First Installment: Singapore - Melbourne Victoria

on Sunday, 29th September, 6thirtypm

the great terminal 3. as nice as it it was new.

and after 7hours or so, we landed. Hello Melb!

know how the aussies spend their 24hours? 888. 8 hours of sleep, 8 hours of leisure and 8 hours of work. yes no more than 8 hours of work. we are jealous already.

melb was quite cold. abou 12 that day.
evidence of spring
straight off the flight, we started the itinery. first was the yarra river. kallang river equivalent, if you ask me.

then here. which we didnt manage to get in due to some unforseen circumstances.
but the exterior was quite worth snapping.
then their 'city hall'

see how much its like singapore.

st patrick

ouch my arm

reminds me of paris. where you are not supposed to drink on the streets.
the shrine of remembrance. built in memory of the australians who died in WWII.

end of the first day. and we got back to the hotel. i didnt like the one in melb as much as the one in sydney. even though the one in sydney, they mistakingly gave me and louis a double instead of a twin bed. so we had to sleep on the same bed. of course, i divided our sides of the bed with the extra pillows. and most of the time, i would be reading on my side and him punching his psp before we doze off.

day 2

how matching, i thought.

breakfast for the day.
happy baby.

Warook cattle farm. thats where we also had our lunch.

hello, i have some food. umm you want some?
here go!

what? more zit?

hey boon, you can buy over this piece of land and grow old here. hahaha. its near mornington.

they think so.

showed us how the dogs gather the herd.

and shave the sheeps botak

he told us that for shaving one sheep, they get 2dollars. tough job!

i took this for you, boon. hahaha so your kinda place.
but the sunset's mine.

im aussie now.
i had to steal one shot. its really prohibited. we were there to watch the penguins come ashore. they are the tiniest in the penguin family. only 80cm.

the glass blowing studio

many many pieces of art

a big crow.
looking rather unwell huh? i am really referring to louis.

and the scarecrow in the winery

where they named their wine romeo and juliet. i know nothing much about wines actually, but we bought what tasted good according to the tongues.

later to the garden maze.

the maze

lavender

then mornington peninsular
had to let louis wear my coat cus as we ALL KNOW, im the manlier of the siblings. he was cold so i let him had the honour.

there were little gaps between the planks of wood and i was honestly speaking afraid to have my shoes stuck in them.

and i wanted to enjoy this properly, so i took 'em off.

the wind was crazy and messed up my hair. so much so i had to hold it to take a picture
sherman and i are the fairer members. mum looks brown here. but she really is not. and the day ends with us all feeling totally tired. all sprawled out on the hotel's bed. and i would periodically nag at louis to do this and that. like go and pack your luggage, hang up your jeans, take out the clothes ya gonna wear tmr, brush your teeth before bed and yadda yaddak.

i'm more of the mum at home to the boys than my mum. we know this. and we know thats why she's not looking alot older than me while i constantly continue let aging beat me with time.

ah, thats why i deserve that bag.

advanced birthday wishes to palley and jules. love you.